Job Interview Part Deux/Whiz Quiz

Hey Kids

Well I had a job inteview last Wednesday for a job that I actually wanted. I feel like it went well and that it would be a great fit for me.

Oddly enough, I got a call on Saturday morning from the dude I interviewed with and he offered me the job. What's great is that it's in my field, which is therapy. I will be independent in that I'm in charge of my schedule and I'll be traveling around to other peeps' homes. I'm super excited and can't wait to begin.

So part of the job offer process was to do a pee pee test. Nothing like holding a plastic cup flush to one's coots to catch all of the hot urine. Hmmm. Anyhoo, I passed it with flying colors because I stopped eating poppy seed muffins a little over nine years ago.

I have to go now b/c I'm super addicted to this computer game I'm playing. No, it's not WOW.

Ba Bye

Latch Hook'n

It seems we've had some nostalgia going on so I've been thinking back to my younger years and some of the stuff I miss. One thing that I remembered was latch hook kits. Anyone else remember those? I distinctly remember completing a latch hook wall hanging of an owl in purty shades of orange and brown. I'm sure that was burned and buried somewhere. Anyhoo, I've been thinking about getting one to do on these frosty winter evenings but I realized, what would I do with it once I finished it. Seriously, I don't need some kind of crappy rug or something to clutter up the joint. This place is small enough as it is. For God's sake, I can fart in another room and it's cropdusted to all other areas in milliseconds. Just ask ESO.

The other issue is that these are a bit pricey. I looked online and found some for around 25 bucks. That's a lot to just do something for fun and not be able to use it.

So kids, I have a mission for you if you choose to accept it. If anyone can find a cheap latch hook kit, lemme know. I may just purchase it for you and give you special lil gift for Christmas. Any snickering about this challenge, I may do something like weave pubic hairs into it and cast a spell on it without telling you. (I actually had a roommate do this exact thing with a hemp necklace for an ex-boyfriend. But that's for a different blog)

Oh dear, I must go. Quality tv is on. "My redneck wedding." I'm losing brain cells even as we speak.

McDonald's Playland

So Sweet Tits and I took our young'n to Mac N Don's Supperclub this evening for some fine cuisine and the like because this bitch ain't cooking on a Friday. Anyhoo, we met a friend at the playland there b/c she's a single mom and her kiddo is 3 y.o. and she needs adult interaction. Great, we get that and we are there to help a sista out. Now, I have never deigned to enter this area of the establishment before and I sure wish someone had warned me prior to tonight b/c OMG. Nothing about our evening was even remotely fun. First of all, I had icicles hanging from my nips b/c it was so farging cold in there. WTF? Second, I didn't get the memo that it was White Trash and Mullets Night, so we were completely under-dressed and under-styled. At one point there was a genderless child that fashioned a mullet so hideous I may just have nightmares. It's hair was actually shaved up the sides with a sort of faux mohawk/mullet going on. Now, I want to know who did this to this child. I believe there have been serious laws broken here b/c this is clearly so wrong on so many levels. What was even worse is that my jaw was just slackened in a mouth breathing sort of way b/c I was absolutely stumped as to the sex of this child. It had at least one ear pierced and I couldn't make my eyes go any further down the body. I got stuck on mullet and pierced ear. My friend pointed out that It was wearing a Boy Scouts shirt so there ended our mystery. Thank God for that or I may not have been able to eat my chicken mcnugglets.

Finally, there were so many children running all willy nilly in there with no supervision that I wanted to commit mass murder. At one point, I did yell at some rabble for trying to clothesline my kid. I happened to read the "rules" board stipulating the expectations of playland participants and discovered that rules were being broken right and left in there.

As I write this, I gain some perspective on my negative attitude b/c I fully admit I'm a control freak. Quite frankly, I revert to age 10 and become "Rule Girl" when I find that folks are not following along with the rules. Maybe it's because I crave safety and never had it as a kid, not sure. But I honestly don't want to Freud myself right now.

Here's my final take on these playland/devil's playground type environments. Unless you want your child to grow up and run away at age 16 to join the carnival, don't patronize these places. I'm so serious. The next time I go to Mac N Don's, I might just have PTSD from this lovely experience. I think what made it worse was that Sugar Lips was tired and had the patience of a bunch of kids on a summer day waiting for the ice cream truck.

But I'm now home, writing this blog and getting ready to watch some tv. So that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Upgrades

I hope you childrens enjoy my minor additions to my blog. Just a taste of the strange inner workings of my mind. HE HE!

Used Catheters

A few days ago, I'm embarassed to admit, I was watching CMT. NO, I repeat, NO, I don't like country music. However, I got sucked into a terrible reality show called Hulk Hogan's Celebrity Championship Wrestling. Big name stars here guys. I'm talking Danny Bonaduce, Frank Stallone (yup, Sly's Bro) and Dennis Rodman. Okay, this show is so bad but I unfortunately got sucked in. It reminds of the days in college when I would become glued to MTV when there was a Road Rules or Real World Marathon. That was a time when those shows were actually good. I would waste an entire Saturday afternoon watching one of those shows, avoiding homework, but yet enjoying myself. Anyway, a similar situation happened on Tuesday with the Hulk Hogan Debacle. So while watching this mind expanding program, a commercial came on that immediately caught my attention. It begins with a woman sitting on a rock in a woodsy type environment. She has Farrah Fawcett locks, flowing and coiffed and she shares that she has had to re-use her already utilized catheters because her insurance sucks or some such reason. I'm thinking to myself that I couldn't possibly be hearing this right. Oh no. I did because in fact she goes on to say that she's gotten crottie infections and has had pee pee problems b/c she has to re-use her catheters. Well thank God for this new medical supply company ala Wilfred Brimley's Liberty Medical, because now she can get brand new catheters delivered right to her home. Are you kidding me? Is this a widespread concern for people? Now, if I'm having an issue like this, I'm certainly not going to go on tv and let others now about it. This is kind of like my sharing about my awesome love of kotex tampons. Yup, they're my preferred brand. Hell, maybe I should do a commercial and talk about how Kotex tampons actually work the best b/c they can actually remain in my coots for more the 15 minutes. More than you wanted to know about me but too bad. So if you have some extra time on your hands and want to find out more about not having to re-use your catheters, watch CMT. At the very least, you're sure to see 800 ads for the upcoming Larry the Cable Guy's new Christmas Special. Because God knows, we can't miss that.

Job Interview

So I have a job interview in approximately one hour. The thing that sucks is that I don't really want this job. As a matter of fact, I would rather ride the gravy train of unemployment and give up my lifestyle of shopping and spending too much money on dumb things than work for this agency. I will not name them for that would be bad bad bad. The funny thing is my interview today is actually a second interview. So I'm dumb enough to show up a second time knowing that I don't want to work for them. What does that say about me? I've been told to just listen to what they have to offer, blah, blah, blah. But how do I make that feeling in my gut go away that is clearly indicative of a huge warning sign screaming, "NO DON'T GO IN THERE". So my way of dealing with it will be to go there and smile and make like I give a shit. Awesome. Nothing like feeling like a sell out. Well, one good thing is I'm not so desperate that I have to take the gig. That would be really bad to know that I need a job so bad that I have to take anything that comes my way. Yikes. Well, I guess things could be worse. I could be working as the dude who picks up roadkill on the side of the road. That would suck. How does someone get that job? Come to think of it, I had a weird teacher in high school who would actually go out and pick up dead animals on the side of the road and take them home for din din. Hmmm, that's icky. He would also put his old tighty whiteys on his dog when she was in heat. He actually shared this info with us during chemistry class. That was a nice trip down memory lane.

Alas, I must be off to get ready for this rocking interview. I will return later with a complete rundown of my happenings.

Later gators